Monday, May 30, 2011

Useful Phrases for Terrible People

Goddamn this comic just didn't want to come out of me. Probably why I didn't draw it last weekend or yesterday when I was supposed to. Sorry about the late post by the way. Really its probably because there's so many things that were hard to draw in this thing. I don't know if you've ever tried to draw a sexy scum bag guy but just about everything you put on him only makes him look gay. Muscles = gay, wifebeater t-shirt = gay, mustache = super fuckin' gay. I'm not saying these are bad things it just ruins the first panel if she's just waving to a really flaming gay dude. Only an asshole's jealous of their girlfriends gay buddies. So much for my idea of giving the guy a leather police captain's hat.

I actually think I pulled off the creep but the girl's another story. I don't draw pretty girls well enough to convey such a vague emotion as insincerity. I think I'm actually on her side in the second panel. I wouldn't date the pink golf shirt wearing fat-ass bro in the second panel either. All things considered I think she handled it well with her little phrase. That said, who hasn't felt like a fat shlub thats trying too hard after getting shot down by someone you like.

Hell. I could have done this strip a lot more justice if I was only more talented. Fail fail fail fail fail.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Mysterious Origins

I drew this comic last week so I'd have it in reserve in case there was a week I couldn't finish a strip. The trouble with having a perfectly serviceable strip in your back pocket like that is that it inspires laziness.

Case in point. Didn't feel like doing anything today. So I didn't

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Secret American Vampire Hunters

Yes, there was magic involved. No, there was no bullet.

I'd like to thank the hosts of the The Biggest Mistake, one of the better comedy podcasts I employ to keep my sanity when I spend 10 hours drawing these things on Sunday. Vampire Hunting Davy Crockett came up during one of their recent shows and they were kind enough to let me use the idea in a comic.

I really really wanted to used James Earl Ray in the last panel but I thought better of it. It's not so much that I think that making fun of Martin Luther King is off limits but something doesn't sit right with me putting his assassin in a heroic light. I can deal with people who can't take a joke getting mad at me but it'd be worse if any of my comics got reposted on a white supremacy site or something. I'll save vampire M.L.K. for another strip.

Lincoln was also on the block but that poor bastard has enough guys taking swipes at him these days. Sic Semper Vampirus in any case.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Hipsters Are Like Bees

So a couple of years ago I realized with horror that I might be a yuppie. Lived in a big city. younger than 30, well paying "professional" job. Eventually I made my peace with it because it's never something I aspired to and I genuinely liked the person I was/am. A couple of months ago I had a similar but far worse moment of clarity regarding being a hipster. It's been tougher to deal with but the good news is since hipsters are the most self denying sub-culture there is the act of admission shunts you away from it's terrifying black core (also known as Williamsburg, Brooklyn) . As it turns out I'm much more comfortable being a poser.

I'm so over it. Here's a comic about a guy getting attacked by bees. If you don't think it's funny it's probably because you don't get it. I'm going to go bro down with some cool people you don't know.